| testing |
[04 Oct 2004|02:16am] |
after 20 more shots
|
|
| And I regret |
[10 May 2004|01:34am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cranky |
] |
This journal was created on June 10,2001 for me to be me and get out what I needed to get out.
I can't do that anymore
so I regret to tell you all that after 311 entries 258 comments 111 replies I am moving my journal to another name
even though I pay for this account and unfortunatly have to move to a non paid account because I refuse to put this on a friends only lock....I don't work like that and I like my non live journal friends to be able to see this
comment to me if you want me to give you the new name
and on your behalf
I hope your happy
|
|
| really really bad and good at the same timr |
[09 May 2004|02:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drunk |
] |
i am d-rubk d-runk...there we go. i judt went out with tje gors got drunk and we went to Monetrays but it was emptuy epty ass shell no one was there. no one at all so we went to Bogarts I never went to Bogarts but it was fun, we rocked out to 80s/ early 90s music.
it was great....
and then things got sour.
We parked Melissa's car in the D+D parlomg lot, when we went back, the car was gone,
at first we thought it was stolen, thank God it was only towed but the towing companuy charg3es 120$ on site to get the car back. so we had tp (the six of us, Me, MC, vika, melissa, riggs, and nicole) scrape up 120 to get the car back because there was no way we would leave Melissa to pick up the tab. so basically 20 bucks each....20 bucks that I don't have.
With Melissa freaking out we calmly negotiated with the tow guys to get the car, take us to the ATM and work something out.
We got it, MC and Melissa paying it all....hopefully i'll get cash back to them by tomorrow night
then I came back to talk to Jase about what to do about Jon and his Crack smoking habits. This is bad, and I regret this because I told Jase I would never make him do this but if Jon isn't willing to and doesn't clean up, I will be forced to tell him to make a choice....Jon or me. Because if Jon continues he will, no doubt in my mind, end up killing himself wich will kill Jase, and eventually me.
I saw too many friends in high school lost to cocaine, one friend nearly dying from morphine, I will not be pulled into that world again
I hope that no one has to go through that
I wish I didn't
|
|
| EVerything is ok |
[08 May 2004|02:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
Well after my emotional breakdown the other night everything is ok.
I usually do that, something pisses me off and I get really mad and then 24 hours later I'm over it. well I am in the over it stage. It was over something trite anyways.
Jase came yesterday, I woke up to him kissing my cheek and him telling me he loves me, a good way to wake up after a shitty night. We hung out, made love. Then we went out to eat, and to the mall where I bought Vicky's birthday presents....something cute and sweet. I also bought Jase a French Connection shirt, holy hell I spoil that boy. I only bought it because I had wanted to get that particular shirt for him for a while and was in complete shock that it was on sale for 25% off.
Then we came back and went with MC, Vika, and Joy to Dana and Melissa's concert to hear them play. Jase and I left at intermission (dude there were no drinks or cookies, what kind of intermission doesn't have snacks?)
We left so we could go catch the 10 pm movie Man on Fire, it was a long ass movie but I thought it was great, emotional yet action packed. Jase loved it and said he was going to add it to his DVD collection when it comes out (its the highest honor he gives a good movie)
We got back at 1:10 and ate dinner, then went to sleep at 3:30...
He left this morning before I could function properly
I'll see him next sunday when he stops by my house on the way to camp.
|
|
| Sometimes it hurts |
[07 May 2004|02:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
I asked Jase what to write when I feel this way
and he told me just to write because this is for me
Im hurt
Im sad
More than anything I am confused
and I just want to go to camp where I feel safe with my friends, the inner circle.
my real friends, the ones I have known practically my whole life, who have stood by me no matter how annoying I get because I put up with them to, and I thought for a moment that I had that here
I don't understand what I have done to deserve the way I have been forced to feel in the past hour
Sometimes I just fear that I am going to feel like I don't belong, that I'm not accepted
My fears were just confirmed
The truth is maybe I don't have "real" friends here. Maybe it was all a happy illusion that I let myself believe, I won't make that mistake again
There is this quote that Ariel always has in her away messages a Tori Amos quote I believe.... "Over the last few hours I've allowed myself to feel defeated, and just like she said if you allow yourself to feel the way you really feel, maybe you won't be afraid of that feeling anymore."
I need a cigarette
|
|
| whats my function? |
[06 May 2004|03:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
I couldn't get out of bed today, I just got out and its close to 3:30
I hate when I do this, it feels like I wasted a day.
I was reading Lucky and it gave me this really scarey realistic rape dream, it was horrible
I woke up crying it was so bad
I smell I sould shower
|
|
| Slurpee party at sevs |
[05 May 2004|12:15am] |
my treat
the P kids all went out (except Princess Will and Penis)
Pinkey, Perkey, Pineapple, Peanut, and Punky all went out to sevs to get slurpees and doritos......I am going to miss Linen Hall
|
|
| Mean Girls |
[04 May 2004|12:52pm] |
Sorry about yesterday just having a few bad moments, home sick I guess.
Last night I went out to see Mean Girls, it was a cool movie, kind of cheesey.
So Brian is a cool guy.
Mandy got piss drunk last night
I am tired but I have class in an hour
I think I am going to have to go
grrrrrr
|
|
| Done |
[03 May 2004|07:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 uncomfortable |
] |
I want to go home
nobody wants me her
I want to go home so bad
I'm done
|
|
| hmmm |
[03 May 2004|06:52am] |
was I supposed to go to bed last night?.....oops.
I did so much work last night I deserve a medal. I was in MC and Vika's room last night (this morning?) from 1 am till 7am doing everything
I am so good sometimes
|
|
| MayDay |
[01 May 2004|08:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
Just came back from the MayDay show
the first band was nightjar.... they were pretty good considering that the mic wasn't working the whole time so most of it was just a jam session
the drummer and the lead singer were cute
Then bandcamp came on..... sooooo hooked on that band now,
they sound kind of like simple plan and Matt the lead guitarist/singer very hot. Everytime they addressed the audience they spoke directly to Melissa because they know her.
Then afterwards I got Matt, Steve and Kris's autographs. While I was waiting for Sean to stop talking to someone I sat on a chair and Steve (who I will forever reffer to as Assie) sat on me while we talked to Matt.
They were all really cool but I never got Sean's autograph cuz when I walked over to ask for it he looked at me and walked away...that wasn't nice.
I got 2 stickers, 5 pins, and I bought the CD's for both bandcamp and nightjar.
|
|
| Holy chair |
[01 May 2004|04:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 enraged |
] |
there is a hole in my chair. A burn hole that wasn't there an hour ago, confused, kind of mad. I think mandy may have used my hair dryer and put it down on my chair.
I just don't want to be charged for something I definatly did not do.
|
|
| Girls night out! |
[30 Apr 2004|11:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
So last night we all decided to go to Raxx again to play pool
it was Me, MC, Melissa, Vika, Joy, Dana, and Dana's friend from home. I went in the "Minority Car" with Joy and MC lol, for I was not white for the day.
It was fun. We played a lot of pool...I won one game and lost one game to MC
Me and Joy ate a lot of chicken :)
I love my friends!
MC has started packing up her shit and I don't want to do that because it means we have to go home soon and I don't want that either. I mean I want to go home and go to california and camp to be with Jase all summer which will be heaven on earth but I don't want to lose my Mexican and Russian Tease.
Hopefully we will get to go out to the bar one more time. Ya know...go out with a bang. Maybe Bogarts because it just opened up again, or Mceebes where I have never been, or Dublin which I hear has picked up in the past few months, but part of me just wants to go back to Monterays....the bar that started it all.
|
|
| ahhhh Kest, you will never learn |
[29 Apr 2004|05:39pm] |
XoSUZIExo: hey hey
ItsFerReal: girl!
XoSUZIExo: Boy?
ItsFerReal: yes
ItsFerReal: boy
XoSUZIExo: sex?
ItsFerReal: no not now
XoSUZIExo: later?
ItsFerReal: next week?
XoSUZIExo: deal
ItsFerReal: good times
XoSUZIExo: hey thats my line
ItsFerReal: u snooze u lose
ItsFerReal: sooz
XoSUZIExo: haha....wait, that wasn't funny
ItsFerReal: y are girls so dumb?
XoSUZIExo: we aren't
ItsFerReal: Missa is mad at me
XoSUZIExo: y what did you do?
ItsFerReal: said her the color yellow wasn't vey becoming on her
XoSUZIExo: thats not so bad....those exact words?
ItsFerReal: no I told her that her yellow shirt made her resemble a taxi cab
XoSUZIExo: and you don't find this offencive?
ItsFerReal: well it wasn't offencive until I told her I would give her $10 for a good ride
XoSUZIExo: oh that makes it better
XoSUZIExo: appologize
ItsFerReal: but I am not sorry
XoSUZIExo: appologize anyway
ItsFerReal: that wouldn't be nice
XoSUZIExo: this from the boy who called his friend a taxi cab
ItsFerReal: what do you know, your just a girl
|
|
| pictures from Jase's visit |
[29 Apr 2004|12:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nostalgic |
] |
Me and my bunny
decorations
Jase's 21st birthday
Back row: MC, Will, Vika, Melissa, Jason....couch: Josh Riggs and Josh K
Jase and MC make nice....Russian Mike, and Riggs
My Baby!!!
Josh, Vika, MC, Will, Melissa, Jase, and Me
In Johnny's words, "Ahhh...Adelphi, I miss my home."
|
|
| Sleepover time |
[28 Apr 2004|10:19am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cranky |
] |
I slept in MC and Vicky's room again.....you know how my roommate can be with her boys. I don't really mind tho as long as the girls don't mind me dragging my mattress in their room because mandy is always generous and making herself scarce when Jase or any of my friends stay over. The only annoying part is pulling my bed apart.
I was up till 5:30-6 writing shit so I didn't really sleep here, I kind of napped here. I got class in a half an hour....this should be fun.
11am philosophy
12pm statistics
1pm lab
2pm-3:40 test
4pm library
maybe I will fit some food into there somehow
|
|
| philosophy of school work |
[28 Apr 2004|04:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 working |
] |
I think I should write all my papers starting at 12 and going to 5 am because I got 2 of my 6 biggerst papers out of the way and all my work for the oral presentation on the conflict between the Hutu and Tutsi nations in Rwanda and Burundi.
Except now I can't go to sleep and I have two tests tomorrow... maybe I can sleep through philosophy....
|
|
| Whats in a nickname? |
[28 Apr 2004|12:07am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
MC was eating pineapples....and as negative as that name if for me it suits the Mexican
Pineapple
Pinkey
Bon Bon
Shorty
"but it makes me feel rooooound"
|
|
| California here I come |
[27 Apr 2004|08:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 devious |
] |
Just got the Cali info
Leaving on May 17th at 6:10 AM
transfer in Georgia
The to LA
4 days planned out with activities (WHAT THE HELL DOES NO CELL PHONES MEAN?)
I am sorry but being over 1000 miles from Jase with no cell phone does not cut it!
Whatever I'll think of something
I can't wait
So far I know it is Me, Joel, Haley, Isacc, Etai, Josh (?), and Jules (?)
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.7){kind=small}
suzann's journal
